Hold the phones...
And pass us the smelling salts.
We're feeling a touch on the light-headed side.
That's cos there we were, making our merry way through life, dreaming of the day when one of us would become Mrs Jake Gyllenhaal, when all of a sudden...
BANG!
A big, blonde, Reese Witherspoon-shaped spanner was thrown into our romantical works.
And that's when things turned a little blurry for us... ya see, the major shock of it all is this: that temptress Reese assured us there was nothing to worry our pretty little heads over.
How could she tell such porkies?
She looks like butter wouldn't melt, but we now know better.
The pair of them led us up the garden path with their denial chat.
And it's broken our Showbiz hearts.
Yes, Miss Witherspoon, we spotted the pics of you and our Jake out on a lovey-dovey jaunt in Rome together.
How very cosy for you both - holding hands (sniff) and Jake planting kisses on Reese's forehead (snuffle).
So what's the most recent thing that Reese has to say for herself?
She said: "I have known Jake for years through different friends and he is just wonderful.
"He's very kind, generous and funny."
She was blabbering on to Ellen DeGeneres earlier this week.
We should have had an inkling when she described him as "cute" and "great".
Anyway we're off back to the drawing board to figure out how to win him back.
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