Showbiz GrannyShowbiz GrannyName: Mavis

Job Title: O.A.P

Starsign: Ooh, I can't remember. I stopped having birthdays at 75.

Who would play me in a film? Dame Judi Dench would do a jolly nice job.

If I could pinch one celeb's wardrobe it would be... The Queen's got some nice outfits. Hats and things.

Who would I most like to be locked up in the Showbiz Shed with? Terry Wogan. Especially since that episode of Points Of View. (Titter.)

But my showbiz husband (til death us do part) is frankly going to be... Michael Parkinson.

My slightly embarrassing celeb crush is... Ooh, that Ronan Keating's a lovely boy. Maybe a bit young for me though...

If I could be a fly on the wall of a celebrity bedroom it would be... Paul O'Grady's, because I've never seen his wife. I'd like to see what she looks like. I bet she's lovely.

Who would you rather be rescued by: Jason Bourne or James Bond? Who's this Jason Bourne then?

I'd rather lick my own foot than snog... Anyone who hasn't got their own teeth.

I'd like to go out on the razz with... On the what dear? I'd take that Dale Winton chap to the bingo hall.

When I'm having a bad day I'd rather be working as... A volunteer in the local Oxfam shop, but I know how the Showbiz team need me.

My most over-used expression is... "Get back home, dear, and put your undies on."