An epidemic has hit Hollywood. Settle down, settle down it isn't Bird Flu.
But that doesn't mean it's not to be taken seriously.
We can report there have been several outbreaks of breasts in the Beverly Hills region.
Following on from Lindsay Lohan's recent exposure, a fresh case has confirmed fears that the disease is spreading.
This latest evidence comes from Christina Aguilera, whose symptoms include a nipple ring poking through her top.
Doctors are now advising Hollywood's residents to protect themselves against the outbreak with bras, corsets and vests, where possible.
Leading medical professional, one Dr.Imakeallthisup, told us:
"Those who work with, or who come into contact with breasts should cover up at all times.
"Otherwise it will only be a matter of time before the epidemic hits the UK."
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