George ClooneyGeorge ClooneyShowbiz Fax: To George Clooney

Sender: Disgruntled Showbiz Shed member

Subject: Have you forgotten us?

Dear George,

Just so you know, we're not calling you by your special nickname (that only we use) because we're feeling a bit neglected.

Yes, you're like, one of the nicest guys in the stratosphere.

So we were so chuffed to read about you in The Sun today, saying you'd bought a fan a new car.

They say you accidentally lightly pranged into a woman's car with your big black saloon in central Italy.

When she went to collect her dinged vehicle from the repair shop, you'd only gone and splashed out and bought her a brand new car, exactly like her existing one.

Plus, George, you also attached a note to her windscreen reading: "I'm so sorry. Hope you'll forgive me. George Clooney."

Forgive you? George, you've just made half the world want to marry you.

Now, we're not upset you didn't get us a new car but we are a bit worried because we haven't heard from you in a while. And we're a tad jealous with you sprinkling your love and fluff elsewhere.

So, if you could just send us a quick email to say hi, we'd appreciate it.

Thanks muchly G.

Love and sloppy Showbiz kisses,

The Shed