Jamie Oliver Jamie Oliver Jamie Oliver's opened his mouth...

So prepare to swallow some bile.

We're not being personal here, merely realistic.

The chirpy chef normally has our taste buds tingling - but with one whip of the tongue, he's got our stomachs lurching instead.

Why? The 33-year-old's been throwing some truly disgusting dialogue.

Jamie has revealed that he once instructed his security guard to stop fans from kissing him - in case he contracted herpes from them.

"These girls are all asking for a peck," he told Absolute Radio. "But how many of them have got the clap, herpes, been around a bit?"

Gagging for more lurid detail? Coming right up.

Continuing his delightful tale, Jamie said: "Every time the really minging one with the flapjack on her lip, who obviously has herpes, came up, he (the security guard) said, 'Give her a kiss, Jamie, go on, give her a kiss.' And he'd make me kiss her."

And now you're making us listen to your "flapjack" experiences, Jamie.

Cheers, love. Just in time for lunch...