FashionFashionNo matter how many seasons you've been shopping for, (it's improper for a lady to talk about her age but somehow seasons, well, they're like dog years..) it's always tempting to go OTT at this time of year.

After observing the behaviour of the Alpha female in shopping mode, we've compiled a definitive (probably) guide to the core commandments of consumerism and come up with the New Year's shopping resolutions that every woman needs.

Read, reflect, and repent at your leisure. The savvy shopping starts here.

1. 'I shall not covet my neighbour's bargains.'

So what if the girl who sits next to you at work got her Kurt Geiger boots on a bigger discount than you did? Is it the end of the world? Does it excuse the dirty looks you plan to give her for the next week? No, my friend, it does not. In the bastardised words of Baz Luhrmann, we must accept certain, inalienable truths: other people will sometimes get better stuff than us. And no, it's not fair.

2. 'I will honour my debit and credit cards.'

They have a limit, and it's there for a reason. A twice weekly pounding in Reiss doth not a happy bank manager make, so save up for the big things and they'll feel so much more special. Besides, disposable fashion is sooo 2009.

3. 'Retail therapy is not the same as actual therapy.'

There are those who say that a new dress will only bring you happiness in the short term. These people are liars. Or people who wear really ugly dresses. But we all know that when we're feeling really rotten, even shopping can't solve all of our problems. Most of them, granted, but not all. It is then that we need to turn to our friends, DVD box sets or extreme sports (depending on your disposition) and Fondant Fancies. Remember this and you'll always be pretty much all right.

4. 'I only have two hands.'

Darwin had a point. We evolved from apes so that our hands did not drag along the ground unattractively. Undoing thousands of years of evolution by loading ourselves up with so many bags that we begin to get retail RSI and end up with shoppers shoulder stoop isn't the ideal way to start the year. You may feel like you have the strength of Boudicca at the start of your retail experience but there is only so much that one woman can carry. If shopping becomes so intense that you need physio to recover, it's time to rethink your Saturday afternoons.

5. 'I shall not abuse check-out staff.'

Shop clerks, cloakroom staff and parking attendants are all your friends. If treated respectfully they can make your shopping experience a delight. If snubbed they will make your life hell. Next time you're stuck in a queue and want to vent your frustration at the till staff, try instead a nod of unspoken understanding that says, "I know this can't be much for your either. Here's to home time!" It will make life a lot easier in the long run.

6. 'I shall take my time.'

Remember the returns desk?  It's not pretty come January so make 2010 the year you get it right first time. Trolley dashes may be fun if you're starring in your very own special of Supermarket Sweep. But your average trip to the high street is unlikely to include an overly tanned game show host so take it easy. Nobody looks good in a body con dress with a hernia.

7. 'I will respect my fellow shopper.'

If someone else reaches the faux fur coat on the 20% off rail before you it is not, repeat NOT, acceptable to wrestle it out of their hands, cram it into your basket, punch them and leave. Even in a credit-crunch there is a shopping etiquette to adhere to. Play nicely and everyone goes home happy. Oh, and if the security guard squeezes your arm and asks you to put down the sequinned blazer and step away from the display stand, this, my Showbiz friends, is a sign that it is very much time to leave.

By Helen Russell